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I rank every Phoenix Wright character, with small writeups. (uh spoilers)
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:25:54 AM | message detail | #001 |
[rippin' Naye off zone] whoa-hoa spoilers for every PW1-3 case in this topic from here on I expect a lot of people to disagree and insult me but whatever --- xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy yzzyx xyzzy |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:30:17 AM | message detail | #002 |
i don't know you have pretty good taste. Except you don't like April May or Redd White as much as me :( --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 12:31:46 AM | message detail | #003 |
tag And Redd White is awesome simply due to his vocabulary... I was quite surprised to find that "quietude" and "ridiculosity" are real words. --- http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2636/ivotedphoenixyi0.png |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:31:48 AM | message detail | #004 |
85. Blue Badger - ARGH I HATE THAT GOD DAMN SONG THAT PLAYS WHENEVER THAT THING IS AROUND - least favourite part of the PW series: trying to position that vase. I blame the Blue Badger. argh. - this is probably the only thing in the PW series that seriously infuriates me - sorry naye 84. Kane Bullard - it takes an exceptional amount of apathy to get me to not care about anyone as much as Kane Bullard - seriously I don't even know if I spelled his name right 83. Ami Fey - I AM - seriously I know nothing about this character but I AM is miles better than whatever the hell Kane Bullard did 82. Cindy Stone - lol case 1-1 - uhhh being the first girl of Larry and the reason for The Thinker is worth something I guess 81. Dustin Prince - LOL PUN - the way Wellington wrote "Maggie" in that picture has more character than this guy ever did 80. Missile - uhh - uhhhhhhhhhhh well at least you're alive 79. Robert Hammond - anything DL-6 related automatically gets love from me - unfortunately this guy has nothing else going for him at all 78. Bat - haha owned - ...I've got nothing else 77. Leon - haha owned - but at least he owned Bat 76. Mimi Miney - for clarity's sake, I'm referring to the victim even if I'm full of crap - you find out pretty much nothing about her since by the time she's unmasked the case is over, so it's pretty much impossible to rank her any higher --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
HeroDelTiempo17 | Posted 11/18/2007 12:32:42 AM | message detail | #005 |
85. Blue Badger - ARGH I HATE THAT GOD DAMN SONG THAT PLAYS WHENEVER THAT THING IS AROUND - least favourite part of the PW series: trying to position that vase. I blame the Blue Badger. argh. - this is probably the only thing in the PW series that seriously infuriates me - sorry naye augh instant failure --- You have no time to ponder such questions, as Link has just grabbed a Smash Ball. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:33:33 AM | message detail | #006 |
owned by HeroDelTiempo17 should I quit now [Y/N] --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
The Destoyer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:33:43 AM | message detail | #007 |
Y --- DROP THE R AND BACK AWAY! |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:33:59 AM | message detail | #008 |
xD these write-ups for the fail characters are awesome can't wait till you get higher up! --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:34:34 AM | message detail | #009 |
n hell no i did like the Blue Badger though but i mean come on its not even a real person! --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 12:38:10 AM | message detail | #010 |
y ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 12:38:38 AM | message detail | #011 |
n keep going! --- http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2636/ivotedphoenixyi0.png |
RayDyn | Posted 11/18/2007 12:38:49 AM | message detail | #012 |
http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/4894/reddmikenesspayneofbluegt1.png That's a "no, you shouldn't quit" vote, BTW. ~=~ This post brought to you by Intelligence* *Intelligence may not be available in all areas, but it's always available from Explicit Content. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:39:59 AM | message detail | #013 |
75. Joe Darke - I never really understood if this guy was guilty or not - I assume he is, but at least this guy got a backstory as compared to other victims and/or culprits from past cases 74. Money the Monkey - YOU ALMOST GOT OUTRANKED BY A DEAD LION - uhh he stole something from Phoenix and I guess that makes him like a fifth tier animal or something 73. Regent - hey this one's alive and is cooler than the stupid monkey - got nothin' else 72. Bruto Cadaverini - haha this guy's picture cracks me up and that's worth more than anything else - when I first played 3-3 I thought something would happen with this guy in 3-5 -- lol me 71. Bruce Goodman - I love the SL-9 stuff and this guy's part of it - UNFORTUNATELY HE'S DEAD LOL 70. Doug Swallow - tried to warn Feenie about Dahlia and contributed to her downfall, even if it was post mortem - seriously what the hell happened to Phoenix within five years, god bless you Doug Swallow for taking the fall for the sake of an awesome character 69. Valerie Hawthorne - never really understood her whole story - was she in on the kidnapping, trying to stop them, framing Terry, what? - actually does it really even matter I mean she got owned by Dahlia anyway, just like everyone else 68. Neil Marshall - well he seemed cool - last names go a long way 67. Gregory Edgeworth - uhh see the last writeup - anyone that can put a stain on von Karma's reputation is pretty badass 66. Jack Hammer - pretty convoluted plot to set up an innocent guy in order to get back at the ***** who ruined your life even though you killed the guy and uh yeah I have no sympathy for this guy - but at least he got a backstory --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Dorobou | Posted 11/18/2007 12:40:12 AM | message detail | #014 |
- least favourite part of the PW series: trying to position that vase. I blame the Blue Badger. argh. The blame for this obviously falls on Ema. --- "Dumbledore is straight." Ron dropped his wand. Hermione Granger, telling a downright lie to a teacher? |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:41:26 AM | message detail | #015 |
seriously what the hell happened to Phoenix within five years, god
bless you Doug Swallow for taking the fall for the sake of an awesome
character xD ^5! --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:41:33 AM | message detail | #016 |
that woman is devilspawn. --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 12:41:45 AM | message detail | #017 |
gawd Ema failed. --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 12:42:14 AM | message detail | #018 |
i actually got the blue badger/vase crap really quick and when i did i was like LOL WHOA also great pictures in phoenix wright history: http://www.court-records.net/screenshot/JFA/ABatDiet-1.png --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 12:42:38 AM | message detail | #019 |
again, semi should be lower like 6 feet lower imhhhhhhho and who was joe darke ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 12:43:39 AM | message detail | #020 |
Joe Darke was the killer in the SL-9 incident --- http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2636/ivotedphoenixyi0.png |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 12:44:34 AM | message detail | #021 |
palmer and tranny too. ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 12:54:41 AM | message detail | #022 |
65. Celeste Inpax - her name sounds like an antidepressant OH WAIT SHE KILLED HERSELF LOL - seriously though, Celeste kind of represents the messed up relationship between Adrian/Juan/Engarde, and that was one of the most intriguing parts of 2-4 64. Russell Berry - everyone seemed to love him and he took one for his daughter - that's pretty cool, even if it is Regina Berry 63. Turner Grey - this guy deserved to die, he's such a dick - I guess that makes some people think he's funny, but I don't think so - that glasses thing gets annoying after about 9 seconds - fortunately he died after 15 62. April May - this woman seriously has no endearing qualities besides her massive breasts - and even those end up sucking when she turns into a demon - usually I like when making a witness twitch but I can't even enjoy that when it comes to someone as awful as April May 61. Glen Elg - lol palindromes, for the longest time I thought his name was actually significant - MC BOMBER 60. Elisa Deauxnim - this is a little low, but it's because she disappointed me so much - three games of hype about the great Misty Fey and she says two lines and dies, what a joke - fortunately the case surrounding her was pretty cool but god damn, people talked about Misty Fey ten times more than she had lines 59. Lisa Basil - I seriously didn't know this was a palindrome until someone pointed it out to me recently - maybe the most useless character -- usually storyline characters have a secret or something to hide or whatever, but Basils useless even when you're breaking her psych lock - I guess people like her because of that SPARDA thing but that's so lame 58. Angel Starr - HI WANT TO SEE MY LUNCH ANIMATION HI WANT TO SEE MY LUNCH ANIMATION HI WANT TO SEE MY LUNCH ANIMATION? - not a cool character, an annoying witness on the first day of court, and HI WANT TO SEE MY LUNCH ANIMATION? -- augh 57. Mike Meekins - okay case 5's character have issues and Meekins's is that annoying as hell horn or whatever it is - I guess you could look at him as comic relief but I was relieved whenever he stopped talking - thank god you had to examine the tape and not him 56. Benjamin Woodman / Trilo Quist - one-dimensional character (well, two if you count Trilo, though it's just the opposite side of the same personality trait) - I'd be cool with that if the trait was interesting or funny, but it's just kinda dumb --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 12:56:49 AM | message detail | #023 |
i actually liked angel starr a lot go figure also lisa basil gets at least 20 place points for being NOT A ROBOT --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:01:07 AM | message detail | #024 |
55. Morgan Fey - just.. unlikable. not particularly brilliant, interesting, conniving, no good backstory (I WANT TO BE DA MASTUH), not really all that ruthless - she's just kinda there, sipping her crappy tea, snapping at you whenever you don't say MYSTIC MAYA and uh that's all 54. Juan Corrida - probably the deepest a victim can get - awesome relationship with Engarde, then two other screwed up relationships with Celeste and Adrian - I kinda wish I got to meet him so I could find out if he's as much of a dick as he seems 53. Frank Sahwit - uhh... for case 1-1, I guess he's cool, maybe, sorta - you can't expect anything from case 1-1 to be particularly high 52. Penny Nichols - this girl is so irrelevant, I forget she exists - her only 'memorable' part is when she goes all YO WANT TO TRADE POKEMANZ on you, and then you forget about her existence ten minutes later until you replay 1-3 again 51. Dee Vasquez - ugh, another unlikable character. not fun to talk to, not fun to interrogate, not fun to nail. - the best thing about her is when Edgeworth turns on her, and that's not even her fault. she's just so blah. --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
RaidenZeroX | Posted 11/18/2007 1:02:30 AM | message detail | #025 |
63. Turner Grey - this guy deserved to die, he's such a dick - I guess that makes some people think he's funny, but I don't think so - that glasses thing gets annoying after about 9 seconds - fortunately he died after 15 That made me laugh --- RaidenZeroX: The Cream of Maya Fey Fanboyism. |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 1:03:01 AM | message detail | #026 |
frank sahwit is pretty funny i have to say he is funnier than LOL IT'S FANTABULOUS redd white --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 1:03:19 AM | message detail | #027 |
63. Turner Grey - this guy deserved to die, he's such a dick - I guess that makes some people think he's funny, but I don't think so - that glasses thing gets annoying after about 9 seconds - fortunately he died after 15 damn your hurtful yet funny write-ups :( XD --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 1:05:10 AM | message detail | #028 |
[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster] |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 1:06:21 AM | message detail | #029 |
ugh typo I loved it when Sahwit was like "Y-you lawyers with your "objections" and "evidence"... Just who do you think you are!?" --- http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2636/ivotedphoenixyi0.png |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:09:05 AM | message detail | #030 |
50. Regina Berry - uhh she jumps and she's shiny and she's got some lesbian thing going on with Maya - someone alert Funk so he can make a three-post masterpiece 49. Cody Hackins - I like this kid for some odd reason, he's not interesting or fun but I can dig on the fanboys - there's something about that picking his nose animation that's erotic 48. Maximilion Galactica - wtf Kuja in a Phoenix Wright game - one of the (many) things I didn't like about 2-3 is that I was defending a guy that wasn't really likable. spacy, clueless, BILLY BOB or whatever, and just... the best cases have a client you care about. with Max it's like "GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GIVE ME 2-4" 47. Richard Wellington - graduated from the Redd White school of pretentious douchebags - apparently he's got a fanclub, but he's pretty stupid and I can't find a reason for liking him really 46. Redd White - oh hey it's his mentor - this guy pisses me off. you mean to tell me that the guy responsible for the biggest single event in PW history -- Mia's death -- and the downfall of Grossberg is some tool who uses the word "Fantabulistic"? - all you Redd White fanboys should go introduce your head to the wall von Karma style --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
LordoftheMorons | Posted 11/18/2007 1:10:32 AM | message detail | #031 |
=( I liked White and Wellington. They were entertaining. --- http://img255.imageshack.us/img255/2636/ivotedphoenixyi0.png |
SSBM_Guy | Posted 11/18/2007 1:11:02 AM | message detail | #032 |
- apparently he's got a fanclub, but he's pretty stupid and I can't find a reason for liking him really whoa there are other people who like wellington besides me? >_> --- SSBM. The Cream of Phoenix Wright Fanboyism. when thinking of Krystal, does GMUN's pants get overcrowded? ~ GMUN |
Alex Shelley | Posted 11/18/2007 1:11:08 AM | message detail | #033 |
people god damn it now you know this is what it feels li --- lol wate i mess up |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 1:11:37 AM | message detail | #034 |
great redd white-up also wellington is too high --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:11:52 AM | message detail | #035 |
45. Jean Armstrong - good lord - ....good lord 44. Shoe - cats kick ass and shoe is a cat - this is basically my cutoff point for 'characters that aren't cool enough to be ranked above a cat' 43. Bellboy - this guy's lame but I love his outfit - something about showing up to court with a tea set is cool - don't ask me why 42. Marvin Grossberg - uh well he seemed pretty cool in case 3-1 when he wasn't talking about his butt - unfortunately he's always talking about his butt 41. Director Hotti - this guy's so useless, I'm not even sure why he's this high - but he doesn't annoy me and he goes away quickly and I always like the things that happen at the hospital (hey what's up Fran in 2-4) --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 1:12:22 AM | message detail | #036 |
- all you Redd White fanboys should go introduce your head to the wall von Karma style i will do no such thing. Its not fantabulous! the best cases have a client you care about. with Max it's like "GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GIVE ME 2-4" omg xD xD XD --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
The Destoyer | Posted 11/18/2007 1:12:24 AM | message detail | #037 |
45. Jean Armstrong - good lord - ....good lord XD --- DROP THE R AND BACK AWAY! |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 1:13:12 AM | message detail | #038 |
im in tears over these write-ups tears of joy ^_^ --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 1:13:15 AM | message detail | #039 |
- uh well he seemed pretty cool in case 3-1 when he wasn't talking about his butt - unfortunately he's always talking about his butt lol --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 1:14:52 AM | message detail | #040 |
From transience Posted 11/18/2007 1:01:07 AM #024 no good backstory (I WANT TO BE DA MASTUH) you should stop posting ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
RaidenZeroX | Posted 11/18/2007 1:15:37 AM | message detail | #041 |
They just keep getting funnier --- RaidenZeroX: The Cream of Maya Fey Fanboyism. |
Heroic Palmer | Posted 11/18/2007 1:15:39 AM | message detail | #042 |
that was the basis of her plans Ashe. You know this...... --- Empress of Board 8 im a girl and stuff |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 1:19:30 AM | message detail | #043 |
If you honestly believe that she had no worthwhile backstory, you should go play Wii Fit or something. ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:19:45 AM | message detail | #044 |
40. Desiree Delite - people seem to like this girl a lot and I'm confused why -- I assume because she's cute, give her Jean Armstrong's body and no one says a word about her - she really doesn't "do" anything, nothing about her is even noteworthy, she's just likable and nothing more 39. Ema Skye - HI I'M A SCEIEINTIFIC INVESTAG8R ^_^ WANT 2 SEE MY SCIENTIFIC SKILLZ? - god I never thought I would actually miss Maya Fey - but she makes up for it on the last trial date of 1-5 fortunately 38. Victor Kudo - this guy's all right, he just annoys me because 3-3's first trial date is USELESS - and it's all because they thought him being a dirty old man with a strap fetish was a good idea - I'll shove those seeds up your ass for that crap, punk 37. Moe - Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! - he makes me groan all the time but even then he gets me to smile - in a case full of one-dimensional throwaway characters, Moe is the most endearing witness 36. Luke Atmey - ZVARRI XD LUKE ATMEY ACE DETECTIVE LOL - the thing that bugs me about Atmey is that he's just entirely no fun to cross-examine. he just kinda.. gives up, twice. I always feel like he could have fought back a lot more but his wanting the guilty verdict on the first trial date kinda ruins him and you don't even have to present evidence at the end of day 2 - plus, he's just annoying -- not actually bad, but he's got that Redd White over-the-top super-pompous lame character thing going on and we've seen that before --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Heroic Yuna | Posted 11/18/2007 1:21:17 AM | message detail | #045 |
...man i can't keep up with this tranny just keeps hitting me up with one terrible opinion after another. what's next. adrian not breaking the top 30? godot not even hitting the top 15? ...god damnit ~~~ You must defeat SPF to stand a chance in the Guru. Explicit Content did. http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/bigboxshots/4/935614_87561_front.jpg |
Naye745 | Posted 11/18/2007 1:24:14 AM | message detail | #046 |
pretty good stuff sofar --- Explicit Content busted my crank and left skid marks on my soul in the Guru Contest. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:27:19 AM | message detail | #047 |
35. Polly - best. witness. ever. - seriously, nothing in the PW series has ever made me laugh more than the first second I saw the parrot on the witness stand 34. Ron Delite - a bigtime emo kid - really, I'm not sure why this guy is likable.. but he is - how the hell is this guy Mask*Demasque - how the hell did he get a job in security - what the hell 33. Maggey Byrde - she's kinda like Desiree (cute while not being the most interesting character), only she's a bit more likable, gets more screentime and is in two cases (even if one of them is a tutorial) - you can't help but feel bad for her, it'd be tough not to like Maggey - well, unless you're a big Gumshoe fan, then she's just dirt 32. Sal Manella - okay so he'd be 20 places lower without the super-lame L33T SP34K - BU+ C0M3 0N TH1S 1S H1L4R10US 1N SM4LL QU4NT1T13S - that hurt to type, sorry 31. Yanni Yogi - I'm of two minds on this guy - don't like him at all when he's doing that stupid bubble pop animation and acting like he has alzheimers - but I rather like him when he confesses, and he's part of the awesome last trial date of 1-4 --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
transience | Posted 11/18/2007 1:32:34 AM | message detail | #048 |
30. Terry Fawles - you gotta feel bad for this guy more than anyone else - 3-4's ending is awesome and he's the reason - 3-4 is a top 5 case, by the way, screw length and pointless investigation trigger-pointing 29. Ini Miney - um, like, this annoys the christ out of everyone - but like Yogi, "real" "Ini" seemed like a pretty cool character, and I thought the entire last trial date with her was amazing - I consider the Ini/Mimi twist to be a top 5 moment 28. Bikini - she's kinda dumb thinking everyone is hitting on her and she doesn't really have anything about her that's particularly interesting - but I think the Bikini cross-examination is one of the best in the series - for once, there isn't a character hiding some huge secret, it's just a solid cross-examination of someone who didn't see what she thinks she saw - that's the best part, by the way - she wasn't lying 27. Wendy Oldbag - 1-3: argh - 2-4: rat-tat-tat-tat - hitting on Edgeworth: argh - there's really nothing about her that's even remotely cool, but she's just endearing to me for some reason 26. Lotta Hart - same with this chick, she's just always around at the wrong time and people don't like her because she's not SUPER KAWAII like DESSIE-CHAN - she's a solid character though, and usually a good cross-examination when you get the chance - but god damn girlfriend learn to take better pictures --- not even the great L-Block messing up the contest could stop Explicit Content, sexiest man of all time, from owning the Guru Contest. 'grats, brudda. |
Kenri | Posted 11/18/2007 1:32:58 AM | message detail | #049 |
44. Shoe - cats kick ass and shoe is a cat - this is basically my cutoff point for 'characters that aren't cool enough to be ranked above a cat' Best writeup ever. --- "The courtroom is the garden of holy judgment. Those with lechery in their hearts should leave this sanctuary at once!" ~Franziska von Karma |
TomNook7 | Posted 11/18/2007 1:33:58 AM | message detail | #050 |
I stopped reading at 85. Blue Badger --- Playing: Halo 3, FE9 PoR [SC2k7: 452] XBL: Stryker ZX http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r45/Watts_ZX/tom7.png |
